In the past couple of months, I shared insights about when to leave a relationship, indicators empathetic people attract narcissists, how to heal from codependency and how to love when you are fearful.
Today, I want to share insights on what signifies healthy communication in relationships. These strategies I’ve gathered from experts in the field of personal development, psychology and psychotherapy in the past 6 years and I have witnessed relationships blossom when they are applied. Well, the opposite is true when these strategies are not applied and when your partner doesn’t value them. You're caught in a unhealthy relationship which is not the desire of anyone to experience.
So what signifies healthy communication in relationships?
My clients often say that what determines a healthy relationship is communication, which to a lot of people is being able to talk to one another. But what does it take to have great communication in any relationship? For a loving and passionate relationship to flourish at any stage, “it takes two to tango!” Both parties must take care of their emotional, physical, mental and spiritual selves on an individual basis. If everyone in the relationship takes responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings, and actions, the chances to experience not only a healthy but an epic relationship is high! The low level of any relationship is when two people are not communicating healthy, they are in fact projecting their wounds on to the other person, and not taking responsibility for how they feel and act in certain situations. That's usually when trouble arises in relationships.
Healthy communication comes from feeling comfortable in your own skin to say in a healthy way whatever you think and feel. The key here is saying it in a healthy way, not being passive-aggressive, not blaming, not projecting, not avoiding or using the silent treatment. It’s ok to tell your partner how you think and feel as long as you are not putting the responsibility on him/her. It’s our responsibility to own how we feel, regardless if someone violates what we deem black and white like a lie, betrayal, passive-aggressive and/or abusive behaviors. That means you can’t lash out, can’t become irrational, react emotionally, or get charged up. The best advice here is to learn how to master your emotions by taking a step back, take a breather, reassess the situation before responding, sit and listen to the person you are engaged in a conversation without the urge to listen and react right away. Easier said than done (I know!) but trust me, with awareness and practice, it becomes second nature to come to these conversations with love and compassion.
Healthy communication is when you are vulnerable and capable of sharing what you are feeling and thinking from a healthy place. Being capable of sitting and hear with empathy towards the other person, and having compassion instead of listening to come back with an attack, prove a point, worrying about the chatting that is going on in your mind, how you feel so terrible because of something the person is saying to you, or to justify a behavior is a sign you can put your ego aside, be a human being hearing another human being on how they feel and understand where you are coming from and what are your needs in the moment. When that space is provided, we feel more comfortable to be vulnerable with each other because using this framework we know the other person won’t be annoyed, upset, emotionally react or be abusive. Quite the contrary. You will admire the other person even more because you feel appreciated, heard and respected. This is a big indicator you are capable to work through challenges a lot faster and have a solid foundation to enjoy healthy relationships!
If you are curious to know how do you discover your emotional blueprint and master your emotions, this is the initial course of my signature program “Your New Love Life” and a big component of my teachings.
Book a free discovery session today and let’s connect!