What's life like when you are deeply in love? It feels like there are no problems, even if the world is falling apart. Wouldn't you agree?
The opposite is also true. When things are not going well in a relationship, it feels like nothing is good.
Relationship is an area of life that we have the deepest amount of fear. It is one area of life that carries the highest level of risk and has the greatest rewards. How about welcoming a new year with the desire to fall deeply in love with someone or reclaim passion in your relationship? It's easier than you think and it's all in this blog post and in my recently launched ebook.
Relationship will challenge the two primary fears every human being possesses: the fear that I am not enough (smart enough, beautiful enough, slim enough, rich enough, successful enough, etc.), and because of that, the fear 'I won’t be loved' is present. These fears show up more in relationships than in any other area of our lives because of the deep need we have, which is for love to be reciprocated. When that depends on another human being, there is an added factor of fear because there is nothing guaranteed about love. And to add to these challenges, we don't know our primal nor our human spirit needs, which makes it difficult to understand ourselves and our partner in times of stress.
To enjoy a passionate relationship, it is necessary to understand the differences between masculine and feminine energies. In modern dating, we keep pretending we are all the same when in fact we have radical differences between our male and female essences. When this is not understood, it leads to constant upsets in relationships. The meanings we associate with our partners' behaviors add to the frustration. An example of how this plays out in our lives is when a woman sees her man resting on the couch while she is cooking. She attaches the meaning that he is inconsiderate or doesn’t help her with cooking or cleaning or taking out the trash. What doesn’t cross her mind is the fact that her man is building up testosterone while he is resting. What emotions do you think a woman would feel if she was aware of that? Instead of attaching a meaning, how about bringing humor to the situation? “How?” you might ask. Try saying something like this: "Oh honey, you keep resting and building up that testosterone so you can give it to me later on, ok?” Taking this approach, wouldn’t you agree that she would feel something other than frustration? I now associate different meanings when I see my partner resting instead of resenting him as I used to do. I get EXCITED when I see him resting while I’m cooking because I know he is recharging himself to give it to me another time.
All the different dynamics we have in a relationship may give us pain or pleasure depending on the meanings we attach to them. And meanings are controlled by our emotional states. When we master our emotions, we will master the meanings given to everything, and that is the greatest way to enjoy a blissful relationship and life!
To begin understanding these different energies we all have inside of us, it’s imperative to uncover the two parts of every human being that complicate relationships: the animal part and the spirit part. They are essential parts of all of us, yet we think our partners have to or should behave like we do instead of understanding that there isn’t a better part; they simply complement one another.
This will help you understand what causes depolarization in relationships. Since polarity equals passion, you will soon be equipped with the tools to reclaim your passion in 2020 and at any stage of your life moving forward.
Masculine Energy: Provider, leads from intelligence, responsible, a protector with a loving strength. It is about self-ego, is a leader, ambitious, driven, achiever, opinionated, and dominant.
Feminine Energy: Receiver, emotional, leads from the heart, sensuous, needs for feelings to be cherished. It is soft, open, vulnerable, vital, and joyful. It is an energy that is primarily concerned with the needs of others.
Western culture has cast men (with masculine energetic essence) as providers, protectors, leaders, and doers. Men have traditionally ensured their family’s physical and financial security. Female energy fantasizes about a partner who provides, leads from intelligence, is responsible, is a protector, and operates with a loving strength. This energy also desires a partner who is generous with his money, cherishes her feelings, and makes her feel safe and supported.
Dr. Pat Allen has an interesting point of view about this topic in her book 'Getting to I Do’. She states that there is a “trade-off” women have forgotten about. We have been conditioned by society to be tough as well as smart or smarter than our partners. If these women are feminine in their energetic essence, Dr. Allen advises them to listen to their partner’s ideas, defer to their thinking with admiration, avoid directly challenging them (as long as it is not detrimental to their values, principles, and safety), and to not force their partner to prove himself or make him feel inadequate. They should instead appreciate the effort he makes when he is providing his ideas or money. She claims that “this is equity instead of equality: it is a trade-off and it works.” I cover this topic in the second course 'Polarity Equals Passion' of my signature program. It is very important if you wish to enjoy a passionate relationship and such a valuable tool to reclaim passion at any stage of life. My clients become fascinated and love learning about this insightful book and other materials I bring to them.
I love learning, growing, collaborating and teaching with the best life, relationship and family experts in the world! My curiosity led me to write my first ebook, which is a collection of different advice collected in the past 10 years. Download your copy today!
Now it is your turn. I’m curious to know your opinion on what Dr. Allen shares with career-driven women operating in the masculine energy: “If you want material status and money (male energy), then utilize sensuous skills in exchange for your partner’s money and status. If you want sensuality and sexuality (female energy), then be willing to come up with money and status.”Does this message resonate with you or someone you know? Do you agree or disagree with her? What’s your take away from this post?
If you would like to schedule your free discovery call to share your take away and gain new insights to reclaim your passion in 2020, visit www.braveheartscoaching.com to book it.
My wishes to you in the new year and new decade ahead are to always honor yourself so you can unleash your brave heart, love fearlessly and live powerfully!
With all my love to you, Happy New Year!
All the best,